Step eight (and then some)

Well, it's definatly time for a couple of lines over here.

What has happened since last time? Alot and nothing at the same time.
Nothing has happened in the form of work. I hit a wall of unproductiveness and apparently felt it was a good wall to lean on for a while. I was frustrated because I couldn't solve all my problems in less than five minutes. Silly as it sounds, but it doesn't make it less true. I was basically waiting for someone else to come and hand me the solutions.

During this time I had regular contact with my boss, and I was trying to be as honest as possible. Of course I edited the truth abit but I stayed on course when I described how far I had gotten at least.

Now, I'm at the  deadline, just a day or two from the limit and I have not met the agreed goals. Several dscussion with a friend of mine in the same buisness didn't really leave me confident in my choise of career either.

You see, Web development is a sort of unstable buisness. Since it's moving so fast, alot of web companies die after about two to five years. programmers and workers in this buisness jump around from companies that has gone bust to companies newly started.

My friend has his own company and if it doesn't get better soon he's seriously considering a career change. For this friend to think of such a thing is unthincable to me. He's really, really good at what he does which makes me think "if he gives up, how can I even think about geting into this buisness?".

On top of this and the deadline, I realise how much I don't know about web development and this is where m world starts to swirl.

I suddenly feel like I'm going to cry from the load and the demands on me to learn everything, to finish the job in less than a day and to prepare everything nice and tight for the boss.

Now, my boss on the other hand is as far from a slave driver as you might think. He constantly praises my diligent work and my thorough investigations into any questions he has. He also tries to make sure that I get my fair share of rest.

All these emotions I feel  is just me letting panic rush over me like a tidal wave I guess. I try and use every trick in the book to get the panic out of my system, including writing here.

I don't know if it helps me in my work but I don't feel as worked up over it anymore. I will try and not lose sleep over this, but I cannot promise anything.

On a side note, the discussions with my boss are going well, especially concerning  future employments. He can't promise me anything of course, but I think we both hope to an equally high level that we can cooperate when fall comes around the corner. I think this very thought is the root to my panic. It is the root to my dreams that I wake up from and I have none to share them with at the moment of need...

...Exept maybe you, Imaginary Reader.